The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
one might say we're banned from that church
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
my shit smells like andre
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Randomize
