Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
