No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize