everyone is single if you try hard enough
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
