I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Someone signed my nipple.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
