mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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