Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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