I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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