Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
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I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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