Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
