im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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