Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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