his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize