good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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