i need an iv and a liver transplant
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
