on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Someone signed my nipple.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
