Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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