Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
