Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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