I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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