And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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