Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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