think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
