I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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