i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
We need to rekindle our bromance
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
