so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
