Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
