omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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