allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
