I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
