I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
