There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
