she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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