They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize