Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
