bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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