i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
