Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms