Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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