I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
