HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
