I'm gonna have a badass scar
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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