well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
