drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
