he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
