So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
