Your tits are I can't wait for
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
His nipple licking is glorious
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