i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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