Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
