the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just forgot I was standing up.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
