One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
A+ Viking dick
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
