Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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