So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
