I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
