I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.